A Sip of Kool-Aid in the Phantomhive Manor
by ShiNoMadoushi
Summary: What happens when the head of the Phantomhive manor takes a sip of Kool-Aid? Watch as Ciel takes a trip into delirium and Sebastian tries to keep up.


It was a simple night, rather cold outside. The members inside the Phantomhive manor were all still awake, going about doing what they do. The head of the house was in the main room, sitting, hiccupping away. He wasn't really "drunk" , more lost in his nerves that anything.

He called to his butler, "S-Sebastian!"—a small hiccup—"Get in here, you jerk!"

A shadow loomed over, and, with a candle at hand, was illuminated to reveal the said jerk. "Yes, young master?" The demon's red eyes shone for a second, taking in his master's state. "I see you are vulnerable and drunk," he noted with slight amusement.

"Come here and favor me with a k-kiss!" Ciel hiccupped again.

Sebastian gave a bemused look. "Are you sure, young master? Where do you wish me to kiss you?"

"Everywhere, you manwhore!" Ciel stood up and sluggishly tried to punch Sebastian in the face, but because the latter was too tall, failed. "And do a better job than yesterday!" He stormed about, touching objects set on the table with an infuriated look.

"Well, you are drunk enough, young master." Sebastian sighed and strolled over. "I shall take you to your room." He picked up Ciel.

The other struggled. "Don't touch me, you…you person thing! I loves you!" Then he fell asleep.

"Young master…Whatever shall I do with you?"

Ciel gave a start. "W-What?! Where am I?" He stared up at Sebastian. "You're not my bathroom friend! Now get in the room and dance for me!"

As Sebastian walked to their destination, he said, "I told you not to drink with Soma. I hope that you didn't see the mess they made on the carpet."

Ciel didn't listen. "Who's eating my stash of chocolate? I told the voices in my head not to tell anyone where I hid the chocolate!" Ciel lifted himself up to Sebastian's ear, and whispered, "It's in my box."

Sebastian opened the door and gently placed his young master in the well-made bed. "Goodnight, young master. I hope you will be well rested and sober by tomorrow."

Before Sebastian could take his leave, Ciel uncovered his eye and gave him a drunken order. "I'm not done with you, pretty man! I order you to stay here and do some things for me."

Sebastian turned around, took his hand to his chest, and slightly bowed. "As you wish young master, but what do you wish me to do?"

"Gyrate!"

As Sebastian finished his little act, he asked once more, "Do you wish anything else, young master?"

"Hm…" Ciel cocked his head. He yelled, "I'm not pleased or aroused! Take off your clothing!" He pointed. "Do it, slave!"

Sebastian stripped down without hesitation. "Young master, I hope that this does not cause any brain damage to you."

Ciel began to drool; he wiped off the liquid and commented, "Only good can COME from this!"

Sebastian sighed. "I think you had enough Kool-Aid, young master." Sebastian began thinking of ways to convince Ciel not to purchase it again, now that he knew of the negative consequences. Not that his master in this state didn't amuse him, it was just that now he would be groggy the next morning. Which means the _schedule _was to fall behind.

"Oh yeah!" Ciel snapped Sebastian out of his plan. "C-Can you bring me s'more Kool-Aid?"

Sebastian inwardly sighed in irritation. "As you wish." He began to put his clothing back.

"No, no, no! What is this?! Keep your clothes off!"

Sebastian dropped his pants. "Young master, the others will see my demonic penis."

"Good! Maybe they'll see what they need to gain access to this!" Ciel pointed at himself, rather triumphantly.

Sebastian bowed and left the room. He entered the kitchen, lit up some candles, and began working on Ciel's Kool-Aid.

Mey-Rin happened to walk by and noticed Sebastian in all his naked glory. Blood began to drip from her nose; she grabbed a spare handkerchief. "Sebastian?! What are you doing here?! And naked!"

As Sebastian turned, Mey-Rin couldn't help but stare at his demonic penis.

Sebastian spoke calmly, "I am simply a butler doing what I am told. I am making my master some Kool-Aid. I am naked because it is what he ordered me to do."

The kitchen attracted more guests. Soma walked into the room, drunk and vulnerable as well, attacked to Agni's shoulder for support. He noticed Sebastian. "Oh, hey! It's the Sandman!" He pointed at Sebastian and laughed. "And here's here to show me the world! Take me, Sandman!"

Agni protested, "No wait, my prince. Don't go with the Sandman."

Soma stared at him. "Why not?"

Agni forgot, laughed, and said, "I like you."

Soma ignored him; his gaze went back to Sebastian and noticed what he was making. "Sandman, make me Kool-Aid too!"

Sebastian sighed but prepared to make another batch.

Just then, Finnian strolled into the room, unlike everyone else he was in his pajamas, ready to sleep. "Hey Soma! Hello Agni! Good evening, Mey-Rin! And a good night to you—" His eyes trailed to Sebastian and noticed his state. "Sebastia—"

Sebastian turned around and smiled at Finny. "Would you also like some Kool-Aid? It is lemon flavored and I'm making it. It is fresh and delicious.

Finnian's mind was scarred. "Why are you naked?!"

Sebastian responded once more, "I am merely a butler who is servicing his young master."

Back in his room, Ciel grumbled, "Where the hell is Jim with my Kool-Aid?" Set with a new goal in mind, Ciel escaped his room and crawled down the stairs. Sebastian, done with the Kool-Aid walked over to his young master, wondering why he was crawling.

He helped Ciel rise and handed him his Kool-Aid. "Here you go, young master—your Kool-Aid."

Ciel drank half of the liquid. He stared at the plastic cup and asked, "What's Kool-Aid? I hate you!" He threw the Kool-Aid on the floor, spilling the remains, and slipped on it. "I'm going to punch a dolphin in the face."

"Oh dear… it seems that he cannot become sober at the moment," Sebastian said to no one in particular.

Snake slightly passed them by, after examining the commotion in the kitchen, going back to his room.

Ciel spoke to him, "Psst! Hey, you with the snakes!" Snake stopped and turned to the young master, also wondering why he was crawling. "Your name is Snake…I think…Wait… No. You are Santa Claus!" Ciel stood up and continued his rant. "Santa, you holly-jolly bastard! I wanted a Hello Kitty action figure but instead you got me a book! I hate those!" Ciel walked over to Snake and feebly attempted to slap him, but his hand falls before he even reaches Snake's face. "I'm going to go to the North Pole and kill all your evil elves before they spit fire on my face!"

Snake stared at Ciel, then at Sebastian. "Good luck with Ciel, says Wilde. I'm going to go to my room, says Webster."

As Snake walked away, Ciel yelled, "Saint Nick, you bastard! Reindeers pooped on me when I was a little boy!" Ciel stopped, and realized that he still _is _a little boy. "Oh wait…" He stared at his fingers, something about them causing his eyes to widen. "I see it now…I'm going to fly now; giddy up, Sebastian!"

Sebastian wonders why the sedatives he placed in the Kool-Aid aren't working. "How about I read master a bedtime story?"

Ciel agreed. "Okay, but none of that Mary Bo Peep crap. She keeps losing her sheep and her man because she's a whore."

"I'll make sure to read something that will interest you, young master." Once again, Sebastian took Ciel to his room, changed his Kool-Aid outfit to his pajamas, and laid his master to his bed. He started, "Once upon a time…"

Ciel grunted. "Ugh…Shut up. You ruined it. Get out. You disgust me. I love you." Then he fell asleep, the sedatives finally kicking in.

Sebastian picked up his clothes and put them back on. "Good night, young master." He blew out the candle.

As he closed the door behind him, Sebastian heard the sound of glass breaking from the kitchen. "Now time to deal with the others."


End file.
